Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
A note from Atomatrix...
Is the rumor true, am I skating for Oly?
I am writing to give my perspective.
After moving south in February I was in denial that I had to leave Oly.
I couldn't even say good-bye. I started my career with them the end of
08' before they were even ranked. 3 years and national championship
finals later I found myself moving for weather and a lifestyle change
but leaving
behind
my sport and only team I'd known left me in tears. B Tease N was at
dinner with Doug and I as he told me he's going with or without me.
Roller derby is serious but not important enough to break up my
marriage. I wanted to skate remotely for them but feared what everyone
would think so I did not. It is a hard place to be - in a business that I
also compete in and being judged on my every move.
Eventually your heart wins out just as it did about the move, I do love my husband more then roller derby.
I enjoyed skating with AZRD, but have to admit I was rarely at practice. Probably been at 15 since I arrived 6 months ago. Why? Several reasons- Practice is now an hour away (each way) it used to be 10 minutes, this is very important when you are already time challenged. I have 5 year old twins that are growing up before my eyes, just started kindergarten and several extra- curricular activities. Doug's brother lives with us, he is 43 years old and has cerebral palsy. He cannot even talk (we communicate via sign) walks with a limp and has mental capacity of a child. We've completely moved our companies headquarters from WA state to Arizona. We are in a transition stage at the company taking on a partner and entering the skate market. Everything i mentioned is my life. I am not single and my plate is more then full. I have put skating on the back burner since arriving in Arizona. I shouldnt even be on the roster as I haven't made attendance. I have been traveling, working, moving for months.
I've contemplated every scenario. Been telling joy for months that I need to take a leave of absence and sit out the balance of the season. That it's not fair to my team that I'm not at practice. Shes been in my office plenty of times as i sit there crying. I'm taking a spot that someone else deserves. It's been a battle and heartbreak for months to juggle life as it stands currently, it's not easy for anyone to deal with so much change at 1 time.
Any decision I make someone loses. Quit? Take a spot on a team I don't deserve? Skate with Oly?
Yes, I do feel in skating Oly is "home" and there are no rules against skating remotely. If this changes my plans would have to change. Maybe 1 day our sport will go pro and athletes at the highest level of the sport will have more options.
Am I guilty of wanting to skate and finish my derby career with my original team, yes. I love to skate, i have been competing for 23 years. Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart. Ive been with them from the start and couldn't fathom showing up and not be a part of something that's very special to me since October of 2008. It's a part of me I'm not able to let go.
Eventually your heart wins out just as it did about the move, I do love my husband more then roller derby.
I enjoyed skating with AZRD, but have to admit I was rarely at practice. Probably been at 15 since I arrived 6 months ago. Why? Several reasons- Practice is now an hour away (each way) it used to be 10 minutes, this is very important when you are already time challenged. I have 5 year old twins that are growing up before my eyes, just started kindergarten and several extra- curricular activities. Doug's brother lives with us, he is 43 years old and has cerebral palsy. He cannot even talk (we communicate via sign) walks with a limp and has mental capacity of a child. We've completely moved our companies headquarters from WA state to Arizona. We are in a transition stage at the company taking on a partner and entering the skate market. Everything i mentioned is my life. I am not single and my plate is more then full. I have put skating on the back burner since arriving in Arizona. I shouldnt even be on the roster as I haven't made attendance. I have been traveling, working, moving for months.
I've contemplated every scenario. Been telling joy for months that I need to take a leave of absence and sit out the balance of the season. That it's not fair to my team that I'm not at practice. Shes been in my office plenty of times as i sit there crying. I'm taking a spot that someone else deserves. It's been a battle and heartbreak for months to juggle life as it stands currently, it's not easy for anyone to deal with so much change at 1 time.
Any decision I make someone loses. Quit? Take a spot on a team I don't deserve? Skate with Oly?
Yes, I do feel in skating Oly is "home" and there are no rules against skating remotely. If this changes my plans would have to change. Maybe 1 day our sport will go pro and athletes at the highest level of the sport will have more options.
Am I guilty of wanting to skate and finish my derby career with my original team, yes. I love to skate, i have been competing for 23 years. Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart. Ive been with them from the start and couldn't fathom showing up and not be a part of something that's very special to me since October of 2008. It's a part of me I'm not able to let go.
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